


Of Dingos and Tea

by Laurana117



Category: Actor RPF
Genre: Australian Accent, High School AU, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:38:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4724492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurana117/pseuds/Laurana117
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom Hiddleston never spent much time around the new kid from Australia last year, but this year they have two classes together. Chris Hemsworth seems nice enough, he holds the door open for Tom, and always has a smile. Too bad Tom can’t understand half of what the guy is saying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Dingos and Tea

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea recently and ran with it. I usually don't like stories about real people, but this seemed so ridiculous that I thought 'fuck it' and wrote it.   
> Note: I googled 'Australian slang' and used it for much of this fic. I don't want to offend any Australians, I am but a mere American peasant writing for the entertainment of strangers on the internet.

Chris Hemsworth was built like a brick shit house. The kid was huge, Tom guessed that puberty had been fairly easy on him.

He was a nice enough guy. He was always smiling and appeared happy.

Chris had been new last year, and as such Tom hadn’t had a real chance to get to know him. Not that Tom had grieved over it or anything, he had Shakespeare to read and teacher’s lounges to sneak into. And besides, all the girls at their school loved Chris. His Aussie charm, easy smile, and his muscles made him very popular.

And Tom, with his skinny frame, big eyes and curly blond hair was less popular with the girls.

But this year… Tom is in two classes with Chris.

And for some reason the Aussie made a beeline for the desk right next to Tom. It was the strangest thing.

The second day of classes Chris turned to Tom after the dismissal bell and said, “Havagoodeymate.”

And Tom just stared. Had that been English?

“Yeah.” Tom said back.

Chris smiled at him. Clapped him on the shoulder and left.

Tom hadn’t known that Chris’s accent was still so thick. It was like he talked through garbled rocks, and way too fast. It was the darndest thing.

Throughout the first few weeks of school Chris kept trying to talk to Tom, with mediocre results.

Tom tried to understand, he really did. But he got lost when Chris started talking about dingoes and barbies. What?

“And then ma brother Liam took the Dingo, and fell over the scoot,” Chris was telling Tom before class.

“Uh huh.” Tom said with a frown. “That is riveting. Did you do the reading for last night?”

“Ah yeah Mate,” Chris said as he fished the book out. “They had a real blue!”

Tom just nodded. “Yeah.” He agreed slowly. Blue? There hadn’t been anything blue in the book. But Chris sounded so excited that Tom let him keep talking.

Tom pulled some of his favorite biscoff cookies out of his backpack. Chris’s eyes lit up when he saw them.

“Do you want some?” Tom asked.

“That’s not my bowl of rice.” Chris said. “But I’ll still bog in.”

Tom’s mouth opened. What did Chris just say? What the hell did rice have to do with cookies? And what in the world did bog mean?

Chris was holding an expectant hand out and Tom put a cookie in it.

“That was a real corker mate.” Chris said. “I might just have to crack onto you.” And then he winked at Tom.

Tom blinked at him. Crack never sounded good. “Let’s not do that.” Tom said uneasily.

A couple days later Tom was in one of the far teacher’s lounges during lunch. Tom had taken to sneaking into this one to read his Shakespeare in peace and make a cup of tea in the microwave. It had been his tradition for the last year. It was such a nice time to relax during the day. Not that he didn’t mostly sit with his friends, its just that if he was feeling tired or under the weather he sought solace in a good cup of tea and his Shakespeare.

But for some reason this time Chris followed him.

“Hey ya Bastard.” Chris said with a fond tone as he stepped inside. They had been talking a little one-sided for a couple weeks, so Tom hoped that ‘bastard’ meant ‘friend’ although he wasn’t sure if he could tell for sure. “Ya gotta nice billy.”

Tom was standing near the microwave with his cup of tea. He opened his mouth to answer Chris. But no words came out. So instead of responding to what he was pretty sure was an insult, he just said, “I’m reading right now. Not really doing anything fun.”

“Ah I see. You’re flat out like a lizard drinking?”

Tom looked down at his earl grey tea. “I don’t think lizards drink tea.” He said.

“Can I have some you galah?” Chris asked with a smile.

Tom was pretty sure he understood that! “You want some tea?” He asked.

“I’d like to give it a burl.” Chris said.

“Okay. Go for it.” Tom said as he sat down and pulled Othello out.

Chris took a sip and cringed. “Y’er a right Pommie Bastard.” He said with a smile.

“Was that an insult?” Tom asked.

“Nah mate, you’re like a Brit.”

“Oh.” Tom said. “I’m not though. My Mom used to be until she moved here. I’m American.”

“You’re a tin arsed tall poppy.” Chris said. “People understand you.”

Tom was going to ignore the first part of that statement, because really. With all the Australian slang he had no idea whether to be insulted or flattered.

“Give it more time.” Tom said. “People will start understanding you.”

“I could yabber with you all day though.”

“Me too.” Tom said kindly. Hoping he didn’t just say that he could do sex acts all day or something unseemly.

Chris’s smile was so bright it blinded Tom. He had to admit, objectively of course that Chris is a very good looking person. No wonder the girls loved him. But Tom didn’t know about the accent. He wouldn’t dislike Chris because of it, but how could they really be friends if Tom couldn’t understand most of what came out of Chris’s mouth?

“Let’s go get some cut lunch mate.” Chris said as he stood up.

“I’m not really hungry.” Tom said. “You go ahead.”

Chris stood there for a moment. Almost like he looked sad. Then he said, “See ya later Dag.”

And Tom wondered for probably the millionth time what that meant in Australian.

When Tom got to class he sat down and immediately had a sandwich on his desk. He faced Chris. “What’s the sandwich for?”

“You didn’t eat.” Chris said.

Tom looked down at the sandwich. Well. That was considerate. “Thank you.” Tom said genuinely.

“Anything for a Beaut.” Chris said with a wink.

And Tom once again had no idea what that meant.

The next day Tom was sitting with Scarlett at lunch.

“So you and Hemsworth?” She asked suggestively. “Everyone was talking about how he brought you lunch. How romantic.”

Tom laughed. “It would be romantic. If I could understand what he was saying half the time. That darn accent is so thick that I can’t though.”

Scarlett raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” She asked. “He speaks completely comprehensible English. You must not be listening. Or really insensitive. Not everyone needs to change the way they talk to suit your ears.”

Tom went red with embarrassment. “I like his accent! It’s endearing. I just have no bloody idea what he’t talking about. And it’s not like I can learn Australian.”

“It’s English Tom. I’ve talked to Hemsworth before, he sounds a little different but its completely decipherable. You’re just not trying.”

By then their friend Sebastian was sitting with them. Sebastian had come from Romania the year before, and the girls hadn’t swarmed around him the way they Chris, as the Romanian accent was less mainstream. So Tom, Scarlett, Evans and Natalie had taken Sebastian under their wing. And it had been a great decision.

Sebastian was the nicest guy in school. And a very beautiful face and personality. Tom liked him.

“Hey guys.” Sebastian said as he sat down.

“Have you talked to Hemsworth?” Scarlett asked.

“Ahhhuhh.” Sebastian said as he mulled it over. This was also what he did when he was thinking of words. “Yeah. He’s nice.”

“Did you understand him?” Scarlett asked.

“Yeah. Mostly. He keeps calling me ‘mate’ and ‘bloke’.” Sebastian said.

“See Tom? It’s your fault not his.” Scarlett said.

Tom groaned. “I guess so. I just don’t understand it when he talks about rice and lizards and calls me a bastard, and what does tin arsed poppy even mean?”

“I’ve never heard him say any of that.” Scarlett said.

Tom’s jaw dropped. “What? You mean he doesn’t talk about all that with other people?”

“No. He sounds Australian, but he really does know how to talk to us.” Scarlett said.

Tom scratched his head. What?

But then the bell was ringing.

So Tom went to class. But he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Chris was apparently understandable to other people. So what was wrong with Tom? Was he making fun of Tom? Was this all an elaborate prank?

Tom had to admit it hurt a little. He had gotten a little attached to his Aussie friend, and the thought that Chris was just making fun of him stung a little.

The next day Tom was in the deserted teacher’s lounge making tea when Chris showed up again.

“G’Day Mate.” Chris said brightly.

“Hey Chris.” Tom said with a wave.

“What’r you up to?” Chris asked as he sat down.

Tom sighed. “Just reading again.”

Chris nodded and started to say something, but Tom stopped him.

“I don’t know if you should be here.” Tom said.

Chris looked confused. “Are you trying to chuck a sickie on me?”

“No.” Tom said. “Although I might, you see, I have no idea what you’re saying half the time.” Tom admitted. “I don’t even know what a sickie is, nor would I know about chucking one.”

“It’s when you—“

“But that’s the thing Chris. I can’t understand you, and other people can.” Tom explained. “I don’t know what most of what you’re saying means, and that’s not a good friendship. A friend should know what you’re saying and there’s obviously something wrong with me. I’m sorry I can’t figure it out. But until I do, I think you should hang out with people who understand you.”

“I might have come a gutser.” Chris said quietly.

“Again,” Loki said. “I don’t know what you just said. I wish I did, but I just don’t. I’m very sorry. You must think I’m a horrible insensitive person.”

Chris laughed. And then he sat up. “It’s not your fault.” He said in perfectly understandable American English. The accent was very much so there, but Tom understood Chris a lot better.

Tom blinked. “I think it is.” He said.

“I’ve been laying the accent on thick around you.” Chris said as he looked away.

Tom frowned. That was another almost perfectly American statement. “Why would you do that?”

“So you would pay attention to me.” Chris said quietly. “All the girls liked it, and I thought you would like it too. I wanted to talk to you but you were always busy, or with friends. So I thought if I talked in my full accent you would think I was interesting enough to talk to.”

Tom’s mouth fell open. He understood Chris Hemsworth! Miracles are real.

And holy Hell he hadn’t expected that.

Tom was still wrapping his head around the fact that he just understood Chris when said Aussie got up and started walking over to Tom.

“Can I kiss you?” Chris asked.

Tom looked at him with a smile.

“Okay.” Tom said.

And then Chris leaned down and kissed him sweetly. And there wasn’t anything to misunderstand.

“You’re wonderful darl.” Chris said after they broke apart.

“You’ll have to tell me what that means.” Tom said. “Another time.”

And then he pulled Chris down for another kiss.


End file.
